I had a perfect plan what I was going to write about today. But God had other plans. It all started yesterday when I felt God telling me “Be yourself, Mari-Anna! Be boldly yourself!” That felt good but I didn’t know what I was supposed to do/think about it.

Last night I had this strangest dream. I was meeting with an agent at a pre-conference event and the discussion was going well. I was almost having a deal when my 3-year old daughter woke me up. First I was sad to be woken up in the middle of the deal making but, as we know, I would not most likely remember the dream if I hadn’t been awaken in the middle of it. The interesting part of the dream was not the understanding between me and the agent (may that come true, too!) but the fact that I was aware of forgetting my make-up kit home. I don’t wear heavy make-up at all but I would not go for a conference without having my beauty kit with me. In the morning I realized I was being myself in the dream. No masks, no make-ups, just plain old me. And that’s why my meeting with the agent had been going so well. I had felt joyous and happy in the dream. This got my attention.

I like to go for morning walks. It’s my way to clear my head, breath in some fresh air, meditate, be with the Lord, pray for guidance for the day. This morning my questions for God were: what does this all mean? How can I be more myself?  What needs to be done differently?

God answers when we earnestly seek his advice and eternal wisdom. The closer I walk to God, the easier it is to “listen” what he is laying on my heart. I’m not an expert but my deep desire is to do God’s will in my life. My experience is that when God really wants to teach me something I start getting hints right and left. So, I randomly (by God’s grace, that is) read a tweet about John Ortberg’s book The Me I Want to Be and went on to read an excerpt. Hmm. Yes, God. I get it.

God, you want me to stop trying to be something else, less or more, than I am. You want me to stop hiding some parts of me in some areas of my life. You want me to be the fun-loving, bubbly person you made me to be and share it with the world. You want me to stop compartmentalizing my life. You want me to be authentic, transparent, real in everything I do. So that I will be more approachable, so that people can relate to me better, so that you can shine brighter through me. Hmmm. I had thought that talking about myself would be selfish. Now I’m learning that in order to be God’s vessel I need to be sharing about myself. Okay. Show me, God!

“My calling is to blossom and bear fruit by talking of God so that everyone might know the love of God, receive the grace of Christ, and live in the presence of the Holy Spirit.” In order to blossom I need to be truly myself. In order to blossom I have to stop hiding my personality and be boldly myself.  In order to blossom I need to be a wholesome person, true me. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less than who God created me to be. God doesn’t make mistakes. Although, I’ve always been wondering why he has given me a crazy mixture of personality traits and interests. Maybe I will find out! Help me, God!

This is all new and I’m just now starting to grasp what this means and how I can implement this into my blogging and writing life. But I trust that God will show me the way. That you, my fellow pilgrims, will help me along the way. Maybe then the other part of the dream will come true, too.

Gracious God,
Thank you for wanting us to be ourselves,
nothing else,
nothing more,
nothing less.
Help us!
Thank you!
In Jesus’ name,
Amen

P.S. I wrote this yesterday. It took me another day to be bold enough to post this. You know, this is quite personal! LOL!

Q4U: What has God been teaching you lately? Do you have any advice for me?

Blessings to you, my fellow pilgrim, as you search your way to do God’s will in your life.

Photo courtesy of Brendan Sceroler